Parenting: the only way one should

I don’t know much about specific parenting “theories” but I love to see what other parents try so I can see if one or all or my kids seem to go for it or not. It never hurt to try a good thing once. I’ve always followed my gut instincts, my emotions, and the spirit with my kids when it comes to basic care giving. It’s interesting to see what areas I fall into naturally and which areas might need some tweaking.

Lately I have been hearing a lot of talk about parenting styles from different people. Now, I may just be overly sensitive at the time due to a lot of issues we are having with Anderson's special needs and all the people I have to "invite" into my daily life that "criticize" his daily upbringing. BUT, I don't think it is a topic that people should discuss so freely. I have been so angry about the whole concept lately. Mostly because when many people interact with Anderson, they give me their advice on how they’d do everything right and I’m not. I honestly don’t care how people care for their kids, as long as they are caring for them. I just don’t like to hear them complain about the outcome either way they do it. If you do/don’t do the cry it out method either way you’re going to have some good and bad nights. Parenting isn’t black and white. I just hate the judgment. I think people should inspire others with their actions and their creative thinking, instead of just quoting how some therapist would have their children raised. I have those moments when people talk to me about breast is best and giving birth naturally. It's awkward when I pull out my can of formula or wince in pain from my incision. Why paint yourself into a parenting corner. Why label yourself and leave out so many possibilities and creative freedom? Each child is different, each child has different needs. And who knows, maybe the Lord will bless your home with a little spirit like my Anderson and your parenting Theories won't work. Maybe, just maybe.
 

I grew up in complete dysfunction, more than most people know. I learned important things as a child. I learned that not all people are good, along with not all people are bad. I learned to be independent and strong. My parent's never wanted me to truly rely on them. I was always raised to go out and work for what I wanted. But most importantly, I learned that you take the good things from each parent and you leave the bad behind you. Build upon the good and teach your children to do the same. That, along with the gospel is how I parent. I make mistakes, I yell too loud, I even throw temper tantrums. But, I always apologize and my children know I'm learning every day, right along with them.

So, whether you are into attachment parenting, babywise, baby wearing, ferber method, even gerber method or whatever crazy crap is out there, just remember to be yourself and love your babies for the individuals that they are and go with the flow. Don't make me feel bad that I have to let my baby cry so that I can care for another child and say she'll grow up with issues. It's crap and deep down you know it. Soon after Tatum was born I posted a status on good ol' Facebook that I 100% believe to be true:     

I didn't do an all natural & drug free delivery.
I'm not breastfeeding, co-sleeping, or cloth diapering.
My baby loves me just the same and we are bonding beautifully. :-)

And that . . .  is all that matters.
Choose what you wish, just don't make me have to defend myself and feel a sense of guilt for doing what's best for my family. To each his own. Every parent should do it their own way. In psychology, as well as in all sciences, the jury is still out. In ten years your sworn method will be seen as ludicrous and outdated. Just love your kids and treat them with love and they will grow up just fine.